Here we are in the bitter end of the year. I’m not much for the Gregorian calendar and definitely not much for the traditional New Year’s eve, but I am for saying goodbye to 2020 in a way that feels right and real. In fact, so much of 2020 seems to have been about saying goodbye to so much; our ideas about normal life, our ideas about democracy, our ideas about the climate, the list really goes on and on. Today, in my mind, I’m riffing on the “good” part of the bye.
Good is one of those words, I wish I could just hate it and be done with it. But I can’t. I can’t because one of the pivotal teachers in my life, Chogyam Trungpa Rinpoche, used this word in ways that turn out to be inspiring and helpful. He used it to describe the potential in the world and in life that exists without any conditions, pre-existing or otherwise. This is not easy to do or to understand. In general parlance, good as an adjective tells you next to nothing. What is good by itself? Well, in my mind, good by itself is a noun, something that stands on its own, something having inherent qualities, qualities that are good. Wouldn’t that be you? Or anyone or anything that you love?
The only way you can get to what is good in the conventional sense is by comparing something to something else. This practice will put you squarely in sketchy territory. When you compare, you automatically create anxiety, despair, even anger. And then there is the question of why. Why compare things to one another? What is the purpose of such a comparison? How do you define what is good?
Instead, I’d like to suggest that rather than compare 2020 to any other year, you might consider what was “good” in your experience this year, good in the noun sense, having inherent, natural qualities that you deem good. I know that comparison is much easier than appreciation in these types of situations, but I, for one, am trying it. Can I simply appreciate this crazy, unpredicted, unexpected, unbelievable year on its own? Can I find the experiences I would call good in it and then kiss them goodbye with love and appreciation knowing they are gone, never to be had again in exactly the same way?
I’m kissing hesitation goodbye; goodbye to hesitating to pick up the camera, hesitating to sit down to write or hesitating to step outside and put my feet on the earth each day. These things matter every day to me. Never before was it so obvious that I needed to do these things each and every day to keep myself feeling good. Good, feeling good, in this case, means that no matter what is happening I feel ready to be in my own experience. It is good no matter what to be here in my body, in this life. So, what makes you feel good, feeling in and of your own life and experience? Can you feel those things and let them be good and then give a goodbye kiss to anything that stands in the way of your goodness each and every day?
Please don’t hesitate to share your thoughts. I am here and it is good.
